O \u00e2b-end\u00e2m(2)<\/sup> k\u00e2metinin iki b\u00fckl\u00fcm oldu\u011funu her g\u00f6rd\u00fck\u00e7e, peri\u015fan k\u00e2k\u00fcl’\u00fcn gibi kalbim de da\u011f\u0131l\u0131p gitti. Buruk boynun ve mahzun bak\u0131\u015flar\u0131n kar\u015f\u0131s\u0131nda ka\u00e7 defa kaddim b\u00fck\u00fcld\u00fc, g\u00f6zlerim doldu. Her feryad\u0131ma senin t\u00fcrk\u00fcnden bir na\u011fme kat\u0131p destan\u0131n\u0131 dile getirmek istedi isem de, iniltin i\u00e7imi yakt\u0131; derdin g\u00f6z\u00fcmde b\u00fcy\u00fcd\u00fc, i\u00e7im burkuldu…<\/p>\n Hem de sana el uzatma\u011fa utan\u0131yordum… \u00c2b\u00e2-\u0131 ken\u00e2isiyyeyi(3)<\/sup> hat\u0131rlatan yapmac\u0131k \u015fefkatimle kar\u015f\u0131na \u00e7\u0131kma\u011fa ar ediyordum. Zira sana, g\u00f6z\u00fcm\u00fcn \u00f6n\u00fcnde k\u0131yd\u0131lar. Z\u00fcl\u00fcflerini t\u00e2rum\u00e2r edip, bu h\u00e2le koydular. Beynini s\u00f6nd\u00fcr\u00fcrken, kalbini kursa\u011f\u0131na yedirirken, g\u00f6rm\u00fc\u015ft\u00fcm olup bitenleri ve uzatamam\u0131\u015ft\u0131m g\u00fcnahk\u00e2r ellerimi… S\u0131zlan\u0131\u015f\u0131na ra\u011fmen uzatamam\u0131\u015ft\u0131m… Kader’in Faust’un kaderi, ama Mefiston kim..? Kim rev\u00e2 g\u00f6rd\u00fc bunlar\u0131 sana…?<\/p>\n Emin bir \u00fclkede idin. S\u0131cak bir yuvan vard\u0131. R\u0131zk\u0131n ba\u015f\u0131n\u0131n ucunda ve i\u015fin yolundayd\u0131. Sonra \u015fu vah\u015fetz\u00e2ra geldin ve geldi\u011fine bin pi\u015fman oldun. Ama gelmemek elinde de\u011fildi. Geldin ve etraf\u0131n\u0131 b\u00fcsb\u00fct\u00fcn bo\u015f bulup h\u00e2line \u00e2\u015fina kimse g\u00f6remedin. \u00c2h u efg\u00e2n\u0131n\u0131, sadece sen duyuyordun.<\/p>\n Ve sana ko\u015fanlar, sadece midenin arzu ve isteklerine ko\u015fuyorlard\u0131. Senin bug\u00fcnk\u00fc y\u00fcrekler yakan feryatlar\u0131n, t\u00e2 o zaman ba\u015flam\u0131\u015ft\u0131. T\u00e2 o zaman terk edilmi\u015ftin. Hem de ‘en sevimli’ iken. Sen, ba\u015fkalar\u0131n\u0131n keyf ve e\u011flencesi olarak elde idin, kucakta idin; bir g\u00fcl gibi g\u00f6\u011f\u00fcste idin, dudakta idin. Ama senin i\u00e7in yap\u0131lan \u015feylerde sana ait olan\u0131 bulmak m\u00fcmk\u00fcn de\u011fildi. Gariptin, yaln\u0131zd\u0131n ve sahipsizdin…!<\/p>\n D\u00fcn\u00fcn bug\u00fcn\u00fcn\u00fc do\u011furdu ve bug\u00fcn\u00fcn, ne olaca\u011f\u0131 belirsiz yar\u0131nlar\u0131n\u0131 haz\u0131rlamakta. Yollar\u0131n ay\u0131r\u0131m\u0131ndas\u0131n yavrucuk…!<\/p>\n \u015eimdi bana m\u00fcsaade et de, \u015fu b\u00e2direde Bahad\u0131r’\u0131n olay\u0131m. M\u0131zrab\u0131m\u0131 senin i\u00e7in vurup, fery\u00e2d\u0131m\u0131 r\u00fbhuna duyuray\u0131m. Bu f\u0131rt\u0131na ve bu yang\u0131nda, gerekti\u011fi an imd\u00e2d\u0131na ko\u015famad\u0131\u011f\u0131m i\u00e7in de, kald\u0131r\u0131m ta\u015f\u0131 gibi \u015fu m\u00fccrim ba\u015f\u0131m\u0131 ayaklar\u0131n\u0131n alt\u0131na koyay\u0131m ve b\u00fct\u00fcn m\u00fccrimler ad\u0131na senden \u00f6z\u00fcr dileyeyim: Bir keyf u\u011fruna varl\u0131\u011f\u0131na sebebiyet verenleri, etine kemi\u011fine ba\u011flan\u0131p g\u00f6nl\u00fcn\u00fc unutanlar\u0131, bir ge\u00e7ici dem i\u00e7in ebediyetine k\u0131yanlar\u0131, ruhuna hoyratl\u0131k a\u015f\u0131lay\u0131p sef\u00e2letini haz\u0131rlayanlar\u0131 affeyle yavrucuk!..<\/strong><\/p>\n Yazar: Fethullah G\u00fclen, S\u0131z\u0131nt\u0131, \u015eubat 1979, Cilt 1, Say\u0131 1 Tarih: