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{"id":874,"date":"2014-06-28T07:19:58","date_gmt":"2014-06-28T07:19:58","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.kocar.org\/?p=874"},"modified":"2014-06-28T07:19:58","modified_gmt":"2014-06-28T07:19:58","slug":"gozyaslari","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.kocar.org\/yazilar\/gozyaslari\/","title":{"rendered":"G\u00f6zya\u015flar\u0131"},"content":{"rendered":"<\/i>\n\t\t\tHakk Rahmeti’nin insan g\u00f6z\u00fcnde damla damla olmas\u0131d\u0131r g\u00f6zya\u015flar\u0131.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/div><\/div><\/span>
<\/i>\n\t\t\tDilin, duygunun ve g\u00f6nl\u00fcn el ele, y\u00fcz y\u00fcze birle\u015fti\u011fi, i\u00e7 i\u00e7e girdi \u00e2n\u0131n \u00e7i\u00e7ekle\u015fmesi \u00fczerinde j\u00e2ledir g\u00f6zya\u015flar\u0131…\u00a0\n\t\t\t<\/div><\/div><\/span>
<\/i>\n\t\t\tCennet h\u00fbrilerinin kulaklar\u0131ndaki k\u00fcpeler, g\u00f6z damlalar\u0131n\u0131n yan\u0131nda toprak kadar a\u015fa\u011f\u0131 ve de\u011fersiz kal\u0131r!..\u00a0\n\t\t\t<\/div><\/div><\/span>
<\/i>\n\t\t\tHeybet, korku, sayg\u0131 ve sevgi gibi insan\u0131 duyguland\u0131ran, g\u00f6n\u00fcl tas\u0131n\u0131 yakan ve k\u00e2lbden sefil arzular\u0131 s\u0131y\u0131r\u0131p atan, ulv\u00ee hislerin \u00e7epe\u00e7evre ruhu sard\u0131\u011f\u0131 \u00e2n\u0131n \u015feh\u00e2det kan\u0131d\u0131r g\u00f6zya\u015flar\u0131…\u00a0\n\t\t\t<\/div><\/div><\/span>
<\/i>\n\t\t\tBulut bulut y\u00fckselip, Hakk Rahmeti’nin eteklerine dudak gezdiren, bu fan\u00ee \u00e2lemin bek\u00e2ya mazhar p\u0131rlantalar\u0131d\u0131r g\u00f6zya\u015flar\u0131…\u00a0\n\t\t\t<\/div><\/div><\/span>
Bu tuzak \u00fclkesinde, b\u00f6ylesine pervaz edi\u015flerle ar\u015fiyeler yap\u0131p, nazl\u0131 nazl\u0131 l\u00e2hut \u00e2leminin kap\u0131s\u0131n\u0131 \u00e7almak ba\u015fka hangi f\u00e2niye m\u00fcyesser olmu\u015ftur?..<\/span>
Eserinde esrar\u0131n\u0131 izlemek; bulduk\u00e7a aramaya istek kazanmak ve Yunus diliyle “Deryada m\u00e2h\u00ee ile, Sahrada \u00e2h\u00fb ile” O’nu y\u00e2d etmek, inlemek… Her yerde O’nun haberini sormak ve sonra \u00e7\u00f6z\u00fclen her d\u00fc\u011f\u00fcm kar\u015f\u0131s\u0131nda buzlar gibi erimek… Sel olup \u00e7a\u011flamak, ba\u015f\u0131n\u0131 ta\u015ftan ta\u015fa vurup a\u011flamak… T\u0131pk\u0131 Yunus gibi, Cel\u00e2leddin-i Rum\u00ee gibi, devrin “B\u00fcy\u00fck dertlisi” gibi yanmak, kavrulmak… Hangi saadet bundan daha tatl\u0131, hangi haz bundan daha i\u00e7ten olabilir?<\/span>
Annenin a\u011flamas\u0131 i\u00e7ten i\u00e7edir; riy\u00e2s\u0131z, \u00e2ri ve durudur. Onun her iniltisinde binlerce ney feryad\u0131 gizlidir. Yavru da a\u011flar. Hem de d\u00fcnyaya gelir gelmez… \u0130yi g\u00fcne erece\u011fine, saadet g\u00f6rece\u011fine, yahut ba\u015f\u0131na geleceklere, ihm\u00e2l edili\u015fine belki de atalar\u0131n\u0131n g\u00fcnah\u0131na ve \u00e7evresinin k\u00f6rl\u00fc\u011f\u00fcne…<\/span>
Ak al\u0131nl\u0131, ak duvakl\u0131 geline, anan\u0131n en k\u0131ymetli hediyesi ayr\u0131l\u0131k g\u00f6zya\u015flar\u0131d\u0131r. \u0130nce gelin, hayat\u0131n\u0131n sonuna kadar, o saflardan saf, inci danesi g\u00f6zya\u015flar\u0131n\u0131 unutamaz. Onlar\u0131 unuttu\u011fu g\u00fcn, anay\u0131 da unutur, atay\u0131 da…<\/span>
Bir d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcn, g\u00f6z\u00fc dolu bulut ana, \u00fczerimize a\u011flamasa, nice olur h\u00e2limiz? Ya o da denizler gibi cimri olsayd\u0131; g\u00fcne\u015f vurmadan incelmese, buharla\u015fmasa ve yukar\u0131 u\u00e7masayd\u0131. Ya o, \u00f6yle mi? Yaz demez, k\u0131\u015f demez, bahar demez, g\u00fcz demez daima a\u011flar…<\/span>
Neb\u00eesinin diliyle Hakk; millet haysiyetini, memleket namusunu g\u00f6r\u00fcp g\u00f6zeten g\u00f6ze denk tutar a\u011flayan g\u00f6z\u00fc. Zaten “A\u011flamayan g\u00f6zden sana s\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131r\u0131m” dememi\u015f miydi?.. T\u0131pk\u0131 \u015feytan\u0131n hilelerinden, hasis duygular\u0131n ezip ge\u00e7mesinden Allah’a s\u0131\u011f\u0131nd\u0131\u011f\u0131 gibi…<\/span>
Ermi\u015fin nazar\u0131nda g\u00f6zya\u015flar\u0131, Cennet p\u0131narlar\u0131ndan daha de\u011ferlidir. Zira o damlalar, “tamuyu” s\u00f6nd\u00fcrecek bir iksir say\u0131l\u0131r Rahmeti Sonsuz’un kat\u0131nda…<\/span>
Hakk’\u0131n s\u00e2f\u00ee Neb\u00eesi \u00c2dem (as) saadet k\u00e2sesini g\u00f6zya\u015flar\u0131 ile doldurup i\u00e7medi mi?..<\/span>
Dertli Neb\u00ee, t\u00fbfan Peygamberi (as) o katrelerle \u00e2lemi sele vermedi mi? Yarad\u0131l\u0131\u015f esrar\u0131na ilk dokunan Mevl\u00e2’n\u0131n Hal\u00eel’i “Hasb\u00ee, Hasb\u00ee” diyerek g\u00f6zya\u015flar\u0131yla ate\u015fi “berd \u00fc sel\u00e2m”1 etmedi mi?<\/span>
O incelerden ince, Hakk esrar\u0131n\u0131n merkezle\u015fti\u011fi, Faraklit m\u00fcjdecisi Ruhullah’\u0131n h\u00e2li hep a\u011flamak de\u011fil miydi?<\/span>
M\u00e2sum Res\u00fbl D\u00e2vud (as)’\u0131n a\u011flamal\u0131 feryad\u0131 de\u011fil miydi ki, insan der\u00fbnunda l\u00e2h\u00fbt\u00ee \u00e2henk ve s\u0131zlan\u0131\u015f\u0131n ad\u0131 olan Zebur’u til\u00e2vet ederken, en ince g\u00f6n\u00fcl telleri \u00fczerinde y\u00fczlerce m\u0131zrab\u0131n \u00e2h\u0131 duyulurdu.<\/span>
Ve, son durakta, en do\u011fru yolun ba\u015f\u0131nda, b\u00fcy\u00fck muamman\u0131n Ke\u015f\u015f\u00e2f\u0131, yarad\u0131l\u0131\u015f\u0131n \u00f6z\u00fc aziz Ruh, k\u00f6rd\u00fc\u011f\u00fcm\u00fc \u00e7\u00f6zer gibi bu esrar\u0131 g\u00f6zya\u015flar\u0131yla \u00e7\u00f6zmedi mi? T\u00e2 ana kuca\u011f\u0131nda bin niyaz ile “\u00dcmmetim, \u00dcmmetim…” dedi\u011fi andan, ba’s\u00fc badelmevt’e ve \u00f6tesine kadar hep ayn\u0131 \u015fey i\u00e7in inlemedi mi?<\/span>
\u015e\u00e2ir \u0130kbal, bir y\u00fcksek toplulukta, ruhlar\u0131n huzurunda, Neb\u00eeler Sultan\u0131’na “En muteber hediye” deyip, bir bardak \u015fehid kan\u0131 takdim etmi\u015fti. Ben g\u00f6kler \u00f6tesi o \u00e2l\u00ee meclise \u00e7a\u011fr\u0131lsayd\u0131m, g\u00fcnah\u0131ma a\u011flam\u0131\u015f kimselerin g\u00f6zya\u015flar\u0131n\u0131 al\u0131r g\u00f6t\u00fcr\u00fcrd\u00fcm.<\/span>
“A\u011fla ey g\u00f6zlerim, g\u00fclmezem ayruk,<\/span>
Dost iline varup, gelmezem ayruk.”<\/span>
Kavu\u015fmak i\u00e7in a\u011flamak ve kavu\u015fmu\u015f olmaktan \u00f6t\u00fcr\u00fc a\u011flamak…<\/span>
Bu a\u011flay\u0131\u015f, bir yetimin, bir \u00fcmitsizin a\u011flay\u0131\u015f\u0131 da de\u011fil.. Bu a\u011flay\u0131\u015f tam bilemeden, \u00f6ze eremeden veya vis\u00e2lin ne\u015f’esinden, huzurun heybetinden do\u011fup gelen bir a\u011flay\u0131\u015ft\u0131r. Sonunda rahmetin tebess\u00fcm\u00fc oldu\u011fu i\u00e7in de, tatl\u0131d\u0131r. Ve yine bu a\u011flay\u0131\u015f, bulup bildi\u011fini buldurma ve bildirme yolunda oldu\u011fu i\u00e7in de h\u00fcsrans\u0131zd\u0131r.<\/span>
“Sular gibi \u00e7a\u011flasan, Eyy\u00fbb gibi a\u011flasan,<\/span>
Ci\u011ferg\u00e2h\u0131 da\u011flasan ahvalini sormaz m\u0131?”<\/span>
Anadolu insan\u0131 bu ma’n\u00e2da a\u011flad\u0131. Kurdu\u011fu umranlar\u0131n \u00e7amurunu hep b\u00f6yle g\u00f6zya\u015flar\u0131yla yo\u011furdu.<\/span>
<\/i>\n\t\t\t G\u00f6zya\u015flar\u0131 ruh inceli\u011finin \u015f\u00e2hitleridir. \u0130nce insan, y\u00fcz\u00fcn\u00fc g\u00f6zya\u015flar\u0131 ile y\u0131kayan insand\u0131r. \u0130\u00e7i s\u0131zlamayanlar, kirpi\u011fi \u0131slanmayanlar kem talih hoyratlard\u0131r. Bu incelik bir hav\u00e2r^\u0131 inceli\u011fi de de\u011fildir. \u015eecaat ve cesaret arz edece\u011fi yerde, o birden bire tun\u00e7la\u015f\u0131r, demirle\u015fir; a\u015f\u0131lmaz ve b\u00fck\u00fclmez h\u00e2le gelir. \u0130\u015fte o en b\u00fcy\u00fck devlet adam\u0131 \u00d6mer, Peygamber h\u00e2lesinde en b\u00fcy\u00fck devlet adam\u0131… \u015eiddeti, \u00f6fkesi ve nefretiyle beraber, bir k\u00e2lbi k\u0131r\u0131\u011f\u0131n yan\u0131nda, bir “yerdeki y\u00fcz” kar\u015f\u0131s\u0131nda \u00e7ocuk gibi h\u0131\u00e7k\u0131ra h\u0131\u00e7k\u0131ra a\u011flar ve etraf\u0131n\u0131 da a\u011flat\u0131rd\u0131.\n\t\t\t<\/div><\/div><\/span>
O manzumede daha niceleri vard\u0131r ki, hayk\u0131r\u0131\u015f\u0131 arslan\u0131n \u00f6d\u00fcn\u00fc koparm\u0131\u015f, orman\u0131 velveleye vermi\u015f; harp meydanlar\u0131nda bir hayk\u0131r\u0131\u015fla bin h\u00e2n\u00fcm\u00e2n\u0131 harap etmi\u015ftir. Fakat, Hakk’\u0131n huzurunda, muhasebe \u00e2n\u0131nda \u00f6ylesine incelerden ince bir h\u00e2l alm\u0131\u015ft\u0131r ki, ancak Cennet h\u00fbr\u00eeleri o kadar incelikten haberdar olabilirdi.<\/span>
Uzun senelerden beri ne kadar hasretiz g\u00f6zya\u015flar\u0131na!.. Onu, bu memleketin ta\u015f\u0131na, topra\u011f\u0131na, evine, m\u00e2bedine sormal\u0131. Sormal\u0131 \u015fu da\u011flara, ta\u015flara ve \u00fczerinde u\u00e7u\u015fan ku\u015flara… Ve b\u00fct\u00fcn bir m\u00e2ziye sormal\u0131, ba\u011fr\u0131na ka\u00e7 damla g\u00f6zya\u015f\u0131 d\u00fc\u015ft\u00fc\u011f\u00fcn\u00fc. Sonra m\u00e2bedlerdeki s\u00fctunlara, geni\u015f kubbelere ve \u00e7evredeki cidarlara da sormal\u0131, ne zamandan beri h\u0131\u00e7k\u0131r\u0131\u011fa hasret olduklar\u0131n\u0131. Seccadelere de sormal\u0131, ka\u00e7 defa g\u00f6zya\u015flar\u0131yla \u0131sland\u0131klar\u0131n\u0131. Bu kadar i\u00e7ten uzakla\u015f\u0131lan, bu kadar g\u00f6n\u00fcle yad kal\u0131nan ikinci bir devir g\u00f6sterilebilir mi?..<\/span>
Timdi sizler, ey b\u00fct\u00fcn bir tarih boyunca a\u011flamay\u0131 unutmu\u015flar! Gams\u0131zlar, dertsizler ve a\u011flanacak h\u00e2llerine g\u00fclenler! Gelin; \u015fu \u00e7\u0131kmaz\u0131n ba\u015f\u0131nda durup as\u0131rl\u0131k gams\u0131zl\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131za bir son vererek beraber a\u011fl\u0131yal\u0131m! Cehaletimize a\u011flayal\u0131m! Kaybetti\u011fimiz \u015feylerden habersizli\u011fimize a\u011flayal\u0131m! Kusurdan bir heykel h\u00e2line gelmi\u015f mahiyetimize, duygular\u0131m\u0131z\u0131n dumura u\u011fray\u0131\u015f\u0131na ve hoyratla\u015fan g\u00f6nl\u00fcm\u00fcze a\u011flayal\u0131m! Bu vaziyette \u00f6lece\u011fimize, \u00f6ld\u00fc\u011f\u00fcm\u00fcz gibi dirilece\u011fimize, tasmal\u0131 ve prangal\u0131 b\u00fcy\u00fck imtihanda, en b\u00fcy\u00fck merasimde fevc fevc ge\u00e7ecek olan m\u00e2zinin \u015fanl\u0131lar\u0131 aras\u0131nda yer bulamayaca\u011f\u0131m\u0131za a\u011flayal\u0131m! Daldan kopan bir meyve gibi, yaln\u0131z d\u00fc\u015f\u00fc\u015f\u00fcm\u00fcze, ayaklar alt\u0131nda ezili\u015fimize, rahmetten c\u00fcd\u00e2 kal\u0131\u015f\u0131m\u0131za a\u011flayal\u0131m!..<\/span>
Yukar\u0131lara do\u011fru g\u00fcvercinler gibi kanat \u00e7\u0131rpal\u0131m ve \u00e7ok y\u00fckseklerde \u00f6yle bir “\u00c2h!” edelim ki, \u00fcn\u00fcm\u00fcz, g\u00f6zya\u015flar\u0131ndan meydana gelen bulutlar\u0131 harekete getirsin. Sonra ate\u015fimizi s\u00f6nd\u00fcrecek o damlalar, ya\u011fmurlar gibi ba\u015f\u0131m\u0131zdan a\u015fa\u011f\u0131ya insin ve ate\u015fimizi s\u00f6nd\u00fcrs\u00fcn. Kin ve nefret ate\u015fini. B\u00fct\u00fcn d\u00fcnya ve ukb\u00e2 ate\u015fini…<\/span>
Allah’\u0131m! Sen’den diliyor ve dileniyoruz: G\u00f6zlerimize ya\u015f ver ve bizi a\u011flat! Merhamet etmen i\u00e7in. Sen’den uzak kal\u0131\u015f hasretini duyamay\u0131\u015f\u0131m\u0131za a\u011flat! G\u00f6nl\u00fcn \u015f\u00e2k \u015f\u00e2k olu\u015funa, a\u011fyar ate\u015fine yan\u0131\u015f\u0131na, \u00f6yle a\u011flat ki, s\u00eeneler keb\u00e2p olsun\u2026 Ondan bir bir feryat \u00e7\u0131ks\u0131n, mele\u011fi ve fele\u011fi velveleye versin.<\/span>
Beni de a\u011flat; gece kadar karanl\u0131k ruhuma \u015fefkat et de a\u011flat! A\u011flamalar\u0131ma dahi a\u011flamam l\u00e2z\u0131m geldi\u011fi i\u00e7in a\u011flat! B\u00fck\u00fclm\u00fc\u015f \u015fu kaddime, solgun ve \u00f6lg\u00fcn rengime, burulmu\u015f boynuma ve k\u0131r\u0131k k\u00e2lbime merhamet et de a\u011flat! \u015eu en s\u00e2kin anda, s\u0131zlan\u0131\u015flara cevap verdi\u011fin dakikalarda, kapkara g\u00f6nl\u00fcmle de\u011fil, Sen’den ba\u015fkas\u0131na secde etmeyen ba\u015f\u0131mla sana d\u00f6n\u00fcyor, titreyen dudaklar\u0131mla a\u011flatman\u0131 diliyorum.<\/span>
Heyh\u00e2t ki “merhamet, merhamet” diyece\u011fim an, bir h\u00e2il gibi g\u00fcnahlar\u0131m kar\u015f\u0131ma dikiliyor ve i\u00e7imde y\u0131\u011f\u0131n y\u0131\u011f\u0131n burkuntu meydana getiriyor. Allah’\u0131m! Benim uzakl\u0131\u011f\u0131m itibariyle de\u011fil, Sen\u2019in yak\u0131nl\u0131\u011f\u0131n h\u00fcrmetine k\u00e2lbime rikkat ver ve \u00f6yle a\u011flat ki, kendimi kaybedeyim, yolunda ar ve haysiyetten ge\u00e7eyim, t\u00e2 “Bu delidir” desinler..<\/span>
“Gidip boynumda zincir ile Ravza-\u0131 P\u00e2k’a, o denl\u00fc a\u011flayam ben ki, g\u00f6renler hep beni d\u00eev\u00e2ne sans\u0131n” Ola ki, d\u00fc\u015fen damlalardan bir tanesi a\u015fk\u0131na d\u00fc\u015fm\u00fc\u015f olur; i\u015fte o, benim i\u00e7in ummanlara bedeldir. \u015eehid kan\u0131 kadar aziz g\u00f6zya\u015flar\u0131 i\u00e7inde nefesim kesilirken varl\u0131k s\u0131rr\u0131n\u0131 bana duyur. \u015eu karars\u0131z g\u00f6nl\u00fcm\u00fc doyur. Hicab\u0131mdan y\u00fcz\u00fcm\u00fc saklamaya \u00e7al\u0131\u015fay\u0131m. Habibi’ne g\u00f6r\u00fcnmek istemeyeyim. Pi\u015fdar\u0131m ve \u00e2li rehberimden ka\u00e7ay\u0131m. Sonra bir \u00e2li d\u00eev\u00e2n kurulsun. Ben z\u00fcl\u00fcfleri da\u011f\u0131n\u0131k, h\u0131\u00e7k\u0131r\u0131klar\u0131 g\u0131rtla\u011f\u0131nda d\u00fc\u011f\u00fcmlenmi\u015f, y\u00fcz\u00fc karalar\u0131n u\u011framad\u0131\u011f\u0131 o d\u00eev\u00e2na \u00e7a\u011fr\u0131lay\u0131m “L\u00e2 t\u00fc\u00e2hizn\u00e2” kalkan\u0131yla huzura varay\u0131m. Kirlerime g\u00f6z yumup “bu da bizdendi” desinler; dilenciye bir m\u00fclk ba\u011f\u0131\u015flas\u0131nlar. \u00c7\u00f6l yolcusunu sevindirip bir bulut ve bir meltemle imdad\u0131ma yeti\u015fsinler. Sevincimden orada y\u0131\u011f\u0131l\u0131p kalay\u0131m. G\u00f6zya\u015flar\u0131m i\u00e7inde bo\u011fulay\u0131m!..<\/span><\/p>\n